


Baby Love Me Cause Im On The Radio

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Cutting, Depressed Louis, Eating Disorders, If You Squint - Freeform, LIKE A LOT OF ANGST, M/M, Singer Harry, Slutty Louis, Smut, Someone dies, Triggers, Uhm, also, dick harry, dick louis, enjoy, eventual crying, fasion designer louis, gold digger louis, harry loves Louis, he deserves it, k - Freeform, louis doesnt care, sorrryy, sorry - Freeform, the boys are always pissed at harry, the boys are barely in it, theres not a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-06-01 22:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6538078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>louis only loves harry when his songs number one, harry doesn't mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby Love Me Cause Im On The Radio

**Author's Note:**

> title from radio by lana del rey.

harry has been in love with louis william tomlinson since the second grade. but louis has always been something of a superior to harry. he was loud, funny, and loved by everyone, while harry tended not to talk, because he talks slow and hates it, and the funniest he ever got was when he alone, so no one liked harry. 

and when harry foolishly confessed his love to the blue eyed boy, it hadn't worked out like the books and movies, when it turns out that the other person had always loved the person back, but was too scared to admit it, and they kiss and ride off into the sunset. nope. 

instead, louis laughed, and then stopped when harry didn't join and said "wait, you're serious?" and when harry didn't answer again, louis started laughing even harder, turning around to his best mates, zayn and liam, and saying, "he's in love with me!" causing them too laugh as well. 

harry ran after that, the sounds of the boys beautiful laugh haunting him the rest of high school. and louis never let harry forget the embarrassing moment. and he probably never will. 

but then harry wrote a song, and that song got big, huge, and it bet came number one in twenty countries, and thats when louis kissed harry, when he realized the kind of guy he was gonna be. 

and now, their a 'power couple' apparently. the cutest couple in the world. but what the fans dont know, is that louis doesnt love harry. harry loves louis, and thats why he doesnt mind that his boyfriend is with him for the fact that he is rich and famous. but, whatever. 

"-and now, we have harry styles, performing his hit song, 'i want'." an overly happy announcer yells into the microphone, signaling for harry to come out on stage. he plasters the fakest smile onto his face, as he walks out  
onto the big stage, sounds of applauds and deafening screams fill his ears. 

he gets the to microphone stand before speaking into it, "hey guys! before i start singing, i was asked to call out the winner for the most successful designer!" he says, false excitement laced in his tone. hes not even sure why this is a category, but whatever. he also knows exactly who won. 

first, lets show the nominees." he says, reading off the card he was given, "nick grimshaw, perrie edwards, calum hood, and," he reads the last name with a mixture of adoration and disgust, but hes not sure which emotion he feels most towards the boy, "louis tomlinson!" and no one catches the grimace as he says it. 

its not that harry doesnt love louis anymore, its just, he knows its not returned. harry could die now, and louis wouldnt so much as blink. and he knows it, and he hates it, but he doesnt care, which is even worse then louis being a gold digger. 

"and the winner is..." he says, pausing as he reads the name on the card, the beautiful name that he used to write all over his journals back in school, "louis tomlinson!" 

claps and yells were heard, as louis pretended to be suprised from his seat in the audience, but only someone who truly knows him could see the smugness in his eyes. and harry did. 

he walks up on stage, kissing harry on the cheek, for show of course, before hugging him, "congrats, you couldnt have done it without me" harry whispers in his ear, and can almost see louis rolling his blue orbs. 

"you give yourself too much credit" he says. harry scoffs, patting his bum, before he pulls away, fake smiles on both their faces. harry hands him the award, louis thanks his family, his friends, and his loving boyfriend blah blah blah. now its time for harry to perform. 

the only time harry is truly happy, besides when he's inside louis of course, is when hes on stage performing. its always been his number one love, next to louis obviously. 

"give you this, give you that, blow a kiss, take it back, if i looked inside your brain" he starts, eyes meeting louis' in the crowd. louis knows most of harrys songs are about him, especially this one, thats why he winks, because he knows he's a gold digging whore, to put it lightly. 

 

"and all the boys say, i want i want i want, but thats crazy" louis is smirking now, mouthing along to the words. and harry is smirking too, because he really does love that boy, even if he is a complete and utter twat sometimes (all the time). 

when the song finishes, everyone claps, but not louis. he's not impressed, he never is. he always tells harry how mediocre his voice is, how he's surprised people pay to listen to him. harry doesnt want to believe it, but he fears hes beginning to. 

but, harry cant play victim exactly, because he knows louis also has a soft spot that he can strike whenever hes feeling feisty or pissed at the devilish boy. he found out about it in twelth grade, when he walked into the boys bathroom to the sounds of a boy throwing up. it soon turned out the boy was louis, and that he was throwing up on purpose.

so, whenever the two fight, he makes sure to throw in things like, "looking a bit plump arent ya?" or "how many sweets have you eaten, jeez!" and it works, of course, and harry usually wakes up those nights to the sounds of the boy throwing up through his tears. 

but he doesnt do what any normal person whos in love would do and comfort the boy, whisper in his ear how perfect and beautiful he was. no. he just puts his headphones in and drifts back to sleep, the image of that eighteen year old broken boy leaning over the toilet with his cuts bleeding through. 

\-----

"fuck, harry, im gonna- shit" louis moans as he releases on both his and harrys chest, harry following after. harry pulls out, and lays next to him, lighting up a fag. louis cleans himself up before slipping under the covers, and laying on his side. 

"night" harry hears, whispering it back softly. 

once harry knows for a fact the boy is out for the night, he leans over, brushing a few astray locks of hair out of the slightly older boys face, before placing a soft kiss to his forehead. 

"i love you" he whispers, staring at the sleeping boy, who seems so young and innocent, but harry knows the truth. 

and that night, right before he drifts of himself, he swears he hears a familiar voice say, "me too" before everything goes dark. 

\-----

"you look stupid" louis critiques as harry walks out of the room. he looks down at his blue jeans and white shirt, rolling his eyes. 

"and you look like you should stop skipping out on the gym when liam invites you, but did i say anything about that? no." he says, opening the fridge and pulling out a water bottle. from the corner of his eye, he watches louis drop the plain bagel he had been eating, walking the the couch, abandoning the food. 

harry sighs soundlessly at the action. louis then walks into the bedroom. harry grabs the orange he had planned to eat that morning and walks into the bedroom. he tosses onto the bed where louis was laying, before turning around and walking out the house and off to the recording studio, leaving behind a confused louis. when he gets to the car he pulls out the phone and sends a message. 

to lou: eat or being 'fat'' will be the last of your problems. 

\----

when harry gets home, louis isnt there, but he never is. harry makes his way through the silent house, and is just about to turn the tv on, when he realizes that the house isnt fully silent. no, because theres moans coming from his and louis' bedroom. 

he sighs, and waits a while longer, until a red head guy, around maybe 24, comes out the bedroom. harry stands up, making his way towards the blissed out guy. 

"im glad he was able to make you feel good," harry says, the guy finally taking notice of him, eyes wide, "because that means i get to finish you off" and then he punches him, and he knows louis is watching as climbs on top of the dickhead, and beats the fuck out of him. 

eventually, harry stops, looking up and meeting the eyes of a bored looking louis "i hope you now you have to carry him out" is all he says. harry scoffs. 

"i hope you know that being a slut wont make you any less ugly or unwanted." is all he says, watching louis' face fall. he then picks the guy up, throwing him out into the snow. then he makes his way back, and yes, he hears the sobs coming from the guest room, but no, he doenst care. 

\----

all of louis and harrys friends knew how toxic their relationship was. they had witnessed it first hand, all the hurtful words and slaps from louis from time to time, but they had also witnessed the gentle touches, and soft smiles, which were rare, but still occasionally happened. 

and today was one of those days. one of those days when louis just wanted to be cuddled, and harry just wanted to wrap his arms around his small fram and kiss him all over. and thats what they did. 

and harry had to pretend not to notice the fresh cuts on the blue eyed boys wrist when his sleeve lifted up. 

\----

maybe, in some way, harry had expected it, he knew it was coming, he just wasnt sure when. but, one day it happened. 

they were all out at some arcade place, acting like the kids they were inside. even louis and harry managed to smile and laugh, but at some point, harry noticed how louis' smiles went from being genuine, to fake. how he started sitting down more often, eyes closed and head hung. 

and then, while they watched niall play some game, laughing and cheering him on, they heard a bang, and looked over to see louis on the ground. of course, the boys freaked out, but harry didnt, he sighed. 

"god damnit louis." he muttered, as niall called an ambulance and people watched, zayn heard him though, and looked at him with angry eyes. 

"you knew?" zayn ask. harry turns to him, eyes unsorry or guilty. and he says one thing before louis gets carried away. 

"of course i knew, the question is, why didnt i care." 

\----

when louis returns, nothing changes. louis' physically weak, but mentally, hes still a jerk.

"harry do something where your hair." he says, sitting on the couch forcing food down his throat. 

"get off my arse louis. why dont you go back to where you came from eh? and make sure you tell the devil i said hi" he remarks, running a hand through his unruly curls. 

louis scoffs, but doesnt reply. harry joins him on the couch, their knees brushing whenever one of them moves. louis sighs after a moment, before he straddles harry, and begins to kiss him, hard. 

harrys hands move and wrap around louis' slim waist on instinct. 

that night ends exactly as expected. 

\-----

and everything had changed for some reason. louis was nicer, harry had noticed and in return, was also nicer. louis started eating more, regaining some of the weight he had lost, looking heathier, and his cuts nothing but faded white scars now. 

and thats when it happened, when louis had done something he had never done before.

"harry, im heading out to play gold with niall" he informs the boy, he lay attempting to nap on the couch. harry raised an eyebrow, and louis continued, "i lost a bet" he explains. harry chuckles, and nods.

louis walks out the door, and harry lays his head back down. he hears the door open again, and he assumes louis forgot something. then, he feels a startling peck on his lips and then someone whispers, "i love you" and when harry opens his eyes, he see two blue eyes staring wide eyed above him. 

"me too" harry says, and louis looks relieved, before leaving behind a smiling harry. 

that smile doesnt fade until long after hes asleep. 

\----

harry had heard the term, calm before the storm, millions of times. but, what he hadnt realized was how true it was. what he hadnt realized is that the 'i love you's and the gentle touches that had become a regular thing, was just the calm. 

and here came the storm. 

and the storm came in the form of feathery brown hair, short legs, and big blue eyes. and also a dead body. 

a dead body, on the bathroom floor of now just harrys bathroom. a note folded neatly on the counter. and harry didnt cry, he just stared at the note, before opening it. 

dear harry,  
the thing is, this had been coming for a while now. and i had wanted to spend my last few days with you, not fighting and fucking like always, but together, in love, and we did. i know you're not crying over your 'loss', because you've never been one to show emotion towards me, or anyone, besides the times you said you loved me, and kissed me to prove it. tell the boys im sorry. they're gonna blame you, i dont doubt that, but i guess it is your fault isnt it? its not as if you truly didnt know, or were oblivious, because you saw the cuts, and you saw my dull eyes, you just failed to care. and thats okay, because it makes what im about to do a lot easier. i love you.  
louis. 

and he didnt cry.

\----

but, now ten years later, laying in his empty bed and staring at the ceiling like every night, he cries. he cries over the boy he had, and lost, he cries over the love he had, and lost, and he cries over the fact he didnt save that boy, he didnt even try.

**Author's Note:**

> this is kinda dark, and when i began writing it louis wasn't supposed to die and there was gonna be a happy ending, but i got carried away and yeah. sorry.


End file.
